March Fifth 2010 7am

I have not slept. Was not tired. Stayed up doing...other things. Watching movies, mulling over distant concepts of all that never occured to me until I willed it to. I was alone, all night, and for once, I did not mind, and to top it off, I vaguely got to remember the essence of dawn and how over whelmingly gorgeous it is. How completely innocent, trustworthy, clean, calm and exciting it is. Something about morning air, as the sky begins to gently lighten, its exhilerating. Its pure. I usually describe it as the beauty of the world before the destructive tragedy that is, humans, wakes up and disrupts nature. I understand, my very witnessing of dawn is that of the human form, but I think I mean, cars driving, doors slamming, coffee makers beeping, children chattering. I love those sounds too, but in the morning, I just love to soak up the emptiness, it compels me to think lyrically, poetically. Although I couldn't write a poem if I was begged, because my poems tend to sound pretty dark and though they sound good in theory, they don't sound so good in form. I don't write to what they tell us poems are in english, yes, sometimes they rhyme but more often than not, they don't follow a verse pattern at all. I like to keep my writings, completely off railed from English class. Make it a bit more, me. Maybe its another excuse for me to have less interest in school. Not my point though. Haha, the sky is lit, I hear cars roaring by, the moment has passed. Its much better in summer, when you can go outside and feel the crisp air and a slight shiver, and you could sit out there for up to 2 hours before you hear the first cars go by. I used to devos with Amanda those mornings. It was swell... I miss her. One of my best friends, ever. She's always been true to me, even when I didn't exactly return the favor.