March Fourth 2010 11:31pm

This is my blog, this is where it begins. Welcoming you to the end of my excuses. I am starting school in eleven days. I am going to graduate. I wonder if anyone will accidentally find this by google but thats as far as it will go. Oh my goodness, newest most exciting news is that on monday, that would be the eighth of march, I will be hanging out with Mama L. I just call her Mom to anyone else and Louise to her face. She was my foster mother from age 4-14 and well, I was horrible once I reached teenhood, thats another story. I will call my biological mother, Mama A. Or just my birth mom or my mother. Depends how dispicable I find her. I'll tell you more about that as I go. The point is, I'm going to go to the city with Mama L and its gonna be great. Over 8 hours together I believe. She is picking me up around ten she said and she won't be able to bring me home until after dinner. I don't know when they have dinner these days but I don't care. So this is what will happen. She'll pick me up bright and early and we will happily frollick our way to Winnipeg. Then we will giggle at Christine a little bit. It will be fun, then go to their home and my original home and it will be scary as hell. I will see Daddy G again. Haha, calling him Daddy G isn't necessary because he's the only father I really have. Willy is my biological father, chances are he'll rarely come up. I will make a legend for this stuff, if I can. I've been messaging Daddy G or Gary, for a few weeks now, he says all that I need to hear about the marvelous things that I am doing. He is never discouraging. I don't see what I ever hated about the folk. But I tell ya, peoples, I used to despise them. Until the last minute. Isn't that just how it works though? Anyway, so I'll be in that house, they will all be there, including my replacement, given, there have been several since I left, it has been almost 5 years. None the less, it will be pretty strange to see someone, sitting in my spot. Last time I went, the house was so small. Not small, just, very different to me and it had only been a year since I left them. Another exciting thing for me is Child and Family abruptly chose to not pay my rent and are covering it with "I don't know what happened to your cheque" Suffice to say, I'm screwed. I don't have a job, the program I'm in ends this week, so what am I supposed to do? Find a full time job, scrape by on food to pay my rent, the new internet and sixty bucks a month hydro. That'll be great. I don't know how the fuck they expect me to do this. I'm only 18 and they didn't give me any warning. Even more so, how can I find a full time job AND go to school from 9am-1:45pm?! Work NIGHTS?! Seems like my only option. Gre-at. That's just fucking fantastic. Stupid Child and Family. I never thought I'd hate them for abandoning me though. Thats the irony (don't actually understand the definition of irony) I spent my first 18 years of life wishing that they'd leave me alone, already. Yet, here it is, they've gone and done it and I've never been more ANGRY!